5 Things You NEED to Know Before Dating a Chef (Don't Say We Didn't Warn You!)

🔥 BRUTAL RELATIONSHIP TRUTHS! Chef Antonio Caruana and KC break down the REAL challenges of dating someone in the restaurant industry!

5 ESSENTIAL Things to Know:
✅ #1: There's NO Schedule - Tuesday at 2 pm might be date night, not Friday
✅ #2: Holidays Don't Exist - Christmas Eve, Valentine's Day, New Year's = WORK
✅ #3: Kitchen Aggression is REAL - We argue fast, and it carries over
✅ #4: Money Isn't Everything - Long hours, hard work, but not always big paychecks
✅ #5: We Want to be Cooked FOR - Stop saying you won't cook for us!

HARSH REALITIES:
🔪 12+ hour shifts are normal, not the exception
💔 Many relationships don't survive the industry demands
🍽️ We eat off milk crates, not fancy tables
📱 Don't just show up at work - we might be in the weeds
💰 Moving cities for opportunities is part of the game

From 30+ years in kitchens - this is the unfiltered truth about chef life and relationships.

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Welcome to the show! Burnt Hands Perspective

Transcript

Setting The Stage: Dating A Chef

SPEAKER_00 0:24

Listen up here. The restaurant industry is cruelly and unpredictable. Just like this, Joe. From the front of the house, from the back of the house, and all in between. We will turn up the heat, you turn up the volume. I'm Chef Antonio Carijuana. Welcome to the Tell All Podcast, the Burn Hands Protective. Boom. Listen to me right now. Here's the biggest question you have. Here's the biggest complaint most people have, and I have to deal with most of my staff. Um all through our lives in this world, and this is what everybody wants to know what's on your mind.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Everybody wants to know this.

Why Generic Advice Misses The Mark

SPEAKER_00 0:55

What does everybody want to know?

SPEAKER_01 0:56

What is one of the yeah? So this is um five things you need to know if you're going to date a chef.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Bullseye. So this is a big one, right? This is a big one because a lot of people don't understand this. They think they do, but they don't. And this works no matter if you're a female chef or a male chef. It doesn't matter what your fucking choices of uh orientation are.

SPEAKER_01 1:20

Or kind of just anyone in the industry. Doesn't matter. Dating in the industry, dating within the industry, doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 1:25

If you are a chef and you want to date, okay, or if you want to date someone who is a chef, this is for you. This is for you, baby. The rules you need to know. Yeah, I wouldn't call them rules, they're just things you have to understand. The hardest freaking thing for a chef or a cook or a line person in the kitchen is a relationship outside of that. It's always been that way. A lot of times it's so under misunderstood that a lot of people end up dating within the industry. It happens a lot. And that always works well until one of the people want to get out of the industry and then they want to have a family, and the one person stays in the industry. The only thing that helps with though is there's an understanding. So that that does help, right? Because they were in the industry.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

I think when you lay down the the rules of it, but I think that there are a lot of, you know, you you kind of came up with this idea because there was a a reel or a video you said that, you know, someone was like, These are the five things you need to know if you date a lot of people. Yeah, exactly. So you said it was kind of bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Yeah, so exactly. That's why I got the idea for this actual this topic. This topic is because I I read this and I saw this, and I'm like, wait a minute. Is that AI generator or something? Because all that right there is not real.

SPEAKER_01 2:38

Is not real.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

That's not a problem. Those aren't real. So I'm thinking to myself, that's not even an issue. Those are just relationship goals, those are relationship issues. That has nothing to do with being a chef. They're not even touching the basic topics of why it's hard to date a chef.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

So I'm like, let's record one that actually makes sense. So you're right, another person's reel of what they wrote is kind of my catapult for this.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

It was it was the inspiration behind this chat to be.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Because I'm like, no, that's wrong. People getting a wrong message right now. Well, it's let's put the message out there.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

You've been in the industry your whole life coming from my whole life. You know, literally high school.

Life Story From The Dish Pit Up

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Since I was in high school, and ever since I was dating or interested in females, started in a restaurant. You were in a restaurant. When I was a when I was crushing on the older waitresses when I was 14, washing dishes, you know what I mean? Looking at the 20 year olds, 21-year-olds getting ready to go out with their aqua net all up, their fishnets coming out of the bathroom. Back in the back in the eight, late 80s, early 90s. Yeah, these chicks were going for it. And I was 14, 15 years old working back there, just scrubbing away, checking them out, looking around the corner. So it goes all the way back to then.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

It does.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

So I don't have relationships outside of the chef world, really. You know what I'm saying? So, yes, I got some experience for you.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Okay, all right. So let's let's delve into your experience.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

First thing you need to know about dating a chef is it's not what you think it's going to be.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

Okay, in what way?

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Many.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

Okay, so we're we can start with like you want to start with the schedule, like how the schedule works, like you know what how it's not typical for a relationship because you are working holidays, you're working nights.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Correct. So, first that's the first thing you need to understand is that when you're dating a chef, there's no schedule. Tuesday afternoon at two o'clock in the afternoon is going to be dinner time or that's date night. Date night, or we're gonna go out for a happy hour. If you have a day off on Tuesday, that day off is probably gonna start around noon, right? Once you sleep in and catch up. Right. And if you're if you're gonna be dating someone like that and you work during the afternoon, now it really starts at three or four when you get home from work.

SPEAKER_01 4:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Right? That chef hasn't got their shit together yet. They're still just trying to relax and enjoy their moment of zen for a minute, right? Now you have about five more hours in a day to get everything done you want to get done. If you're gonna go out to eat, if you're gonna go to the bar, if you're gonna go hang out, if you're gonna watch movies, go shopping, whatever you have, appointments, appointments, you have to cram everything in. Yeah, and and that's unfortunate because our timing is different. So if you're gonna date a chef, if you're gonna be interested in a chef, you have to accept the fact that everything you know about a normal routine or a normal schedule is gone. It's gone. And this is 80% of the chefs. You'll have the country club chefs or the hospital chefs, or you'll have chefs that are uh work their way into a nice position. I'm not really talking about that. I'm talking about the day-to-day chefs slash line cooks, typical saute cooks, yeah, cooks.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

Yeah, period. But that's from I mean, that's that's kind of anybody in the industry. I mean, you're working five, sometimes six nights a week. Your shift starts at one, two o'clock in the afternoon.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

I would say it's anyone in the industry, but not really. It's not because bartenders have three, four days off a week. Bartenders can get there at three o'clock. Chefs are there typically at 11 o'clock and they're not leaving until 11 o'clock.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

First people So you're looking at like literally 12-hour shifts on average. Mostly, yeah.

The Schedule That Breaks Traditions

SPEAKER_00 5:50

I mean, if you're gonna do it right, that's I mean, that's kind of how it is. It's unfortunate. That's the way it is. And there's no way around it because that's just with the demand of the industry. Right? People come into this industry not understanding that. It's just a lot of freaking time. There's no holidays. There's no holidays. There are holidays for us, though. We look forward to it, right? We have a Valentine's Day coming up here. It's it's January now, we got February down the road. So I'm already preparing my menus and everything for that week. So if you're gonna date a chef, it doesn't matter your sex, if you're gonna date a sex uh a chef, you have to understand that you're probably gonna have Valentine's Day the following Tuesday or the following Wednesday. Or hypothetically, whenever it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

But you're not gonna have Valentine's Day. It's gonna be very rare for you to do that.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

It's not a let's just say it's not a traditional traditional. But you're not gonna have a traditional relationship in the sense of like, we're gonna plan this on Friday and this on Saturday, and I can go away every weekend. And that that does not happen.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

So I, you know, another thing is holidays, other holidays, Christmas Eve, huge for Italian restaurants, huge for most restaurants. Christmas Eve, you work. Christmas Day, typically you work. Thanksgiving, you know a lot of places are open. A lot of places are open, and um uh all the other ones, forget about it. Those are the big ones that you're still working, so all those little ones you're gonna miss. Halloween. You want to go trick-or-treating with the kids, there's a good chance you might have to be with someone who's working. It's just the way it is. Yeah, that it doesn't stop. The restaurant industry does not stop, chefs do not stop cooking. So that's number two.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

Yeah, so you gotta respect the kitchen, the schedule, because and in in the list of priority, I mean, if you get called into work, like that takes precedence over everything else. So people can kind of feel like they've fallen to the wayside.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Like, of course, you're always you're you're always gonna feel second sometimes if you don't understand what we're trying to tell you. What I'm trying to tell you is this you can have a really healthy relationship if you understand what it is you're getting into and agree to get into it and change your life too. But if you're gonna expect a chef to change their life, you need to leave that poor person alone because there's nothing they can do about it. Now, you gotta remember too, whenever this the other person's significant other is in is at home in their air, talking about how they don't have time, you choose that over this and that over this. You gotta remember that you got into this knowing this for one, and you gotta know that that person is at work right now, stewing, hurting, missing you, doesn't know what to do, trapped in their own skin again. And they're in a lot of times they feel um they feel like they're up against the wall and and they just give up because it's not the first time this has happened. A lot of chefs have lost a lot of really good people in their lives because of this, because of the lack of understanding by the opposing spouse or whatever you want to call it, the opposing person. They didn't really understand what they were getting into. Chef knows what we're getting into. And shame on you, chefs or kitchen people who don't explain your situation to the person properly, which I have been a victim of multiple times. Yeah. Because we get afraid, right? If if we've done it so long that we know it's gonna hurt now or later. Because you're either gonna tell them everything right up front now and they're gonna pull away, which you don't want, or you're gonna hope they can get it and they're gonna pull away later. So the only time we really get a chance with you or a person or whatever is to um the other person is to take the moment while you're in it. Right? So chefs alike, just like the people, you need to understand it, you need to explain yourselves to these people as well. It's fair, right? That's cut that comes with maturity. So that's a huge, huge step is is understanding and communicating when you're in a relationship with a chef. Both of you have to talk about it because it always goes wrong if you don't, period.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

Yeah, there has to be has to be that. And if you have, I mean, if there's yeah, any trouble, it's gonna get worse. So let's take that into the the passion of cooking relating to the passion of like argument and can like confronting or confrontation in a relationship. Because in the kitchen, you're used to getting heated. True, using more, you know, let's just say, like nothing.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

There's a lot of profanity, there's a lot of snapping, there's a lot of quick response, there's a lot of um more heated. There's a lot of there's a lot of sorries after the fact, there's a lot of acceptability after the argument because we're so programmed to argue quick in the heat, get annoyed with each other, and then laugh it off and let it go.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

But so does that translate for you in relationships? It used to.

SPEAKER_00 10:06

Yeah, it used to be a lot of people. Yeah, used to, yeah, sure. Uh it doesn't anymore because I'm in a position now in my chef career where I have a very good team and brigades underneath me. So I'm not in that heated moment, but I see it happening every night in my kitchen. So I try and talk to them, right? I can step away as the owner now and step away from an argument and I have to deal with it. Um, but no, for the for the people that are in there, it's bad. And now it's even different now because here's the funny part. Now, more than ever, female chefs are uh way more abundant than they used to be in the past. It used to be you'd have to tiptoe a little bit, but now the chefs who are females typically are very they're very independent, they're very strong, they're very strong-minded, they're they're filthy mouthed just like us, and they retaliate and they and they come back at it. So if you're on the line working with a female and you're talking to each other, or a female's talking to a male like that, you do tend to take that energy home because you're still talking to a female, and that's even worse. So now you've even lost the sexuality part of it, like I shouldn't be talking to a woman like this, or I shouldn't be talking to a man like this. But you're programmed in the kitchen to be doing it so much that you're not even thinking of that now. Now it's programmed into you that there's not even a masculine-feminine differential here. It's just all masculine, it's all masculine all the time.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

I can see that for female chefs because I think even in professions, you know, I've been in where you do have to show up as the man all the time. For female chefs to turn that button off and then be with a partner at home who, if it is a man, has to like be okay, let me go back into this feminine role and let you take the lead or tell me what to do. They're not good at that. So I've seen that ruin just as many relationships with people where they can't go back to that other side.

Holidays Aren’t For Us

SPEAKER_00 11:45

It's almost like the Lord of the Rings. Right, it's almost like the Lord of the Rings. Because when you when he got that little ring and he was holding on to it, he was a he was a good little guy. He was a nice little guy. He had his little ring. He started out really sweet. He had his big feet, you know what I'm saying? He had his little bread frodo. Frodo. So Frodo was Frodoing nonstop. And then he got that ring, and all of a sudden, slowly it took him over, right? And slowly he was holding it. And that's the same thing. If a if uh a female or a male goes into the chef industry while they had a spouse or a significant other, and they go to school, they get in the kitchen, slowly they're going to change. They're gonna burn themselves now where they typically wouldn't swear something in a kitchen, they're gonna yell out, fuck, or where's the fucking towel? They're gonna yell this stuff now.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

So they're turning into golem, is what we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

Correct, right, and it's gonna happen because it's just the way it is, and then that throws a lot of that puts a lot of weight on a relationship too. Yeah, is is when you're at home and and you don't typically do that, but when you're so used to being like that at work, because that's how we are, the industry is heavy. It's just a lot going on, it's tense, right? So there's a lot of that going on. So you just gotta be careful of that. When you're when you're dating a chef, you have to understand there's a lot more aggression, there's a lot more profanity, working under pressure a lot. Um, but the good news is also when we have a moment, we take it. That's the next thing we need to talk about. This might be a list might go further further than five. It might go more than five, because for whoever those listening to it can agree, they're gonna, they're gonna, they can relate, they're gonna listen.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Let's just yeah, resummarize this. There's a lot of topics. Yeah, okay. So let's go into that one first, and then I have another question.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

All right, so you go into the fact of now when it's time to relax, we just want to sit down and relax sometimes. Sometimes it's if we're sitting there at a restaurant eating, and a bill comes, we may not want to get up so quick. We may not want to just run off and go there.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

So you're saying like savoring the moment, savoring the moment because we don't get to.

unknown 13:28

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 13:28

We eat we eat dinner on milk crates, leaning up against a you know, a low boy or something while while people are prepping around us. We're we're eating out of a friggin' quart container. You see what I'm saying? As fast as we can. So when we can actually sit down and enjoy the moment, which isn't often, we like to do that. So a lot of people will make five to ten plans in a day for someone, and it's like after plan three, you're like, dude, I just want to have a beer and relax a little bit. Give me a break, you know. You just gotta understand that that could be a thing too.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

So you shouldn't take the um not as laziness, but as like you need time to do that. Yeah, right. Enjoy the moment.

Feeling Second And How To Cope

SPEAKER_00 14:06

Yeah, we have one day off today. We need to do all this. Well, we have one day off today, and I just want to be with you. I just want to do that. You know, that's you know, you can look at your person and say that. I just that's what you have to say, and that's my advice to you. If you see somebody and you look at them, you have to look at them as a chef and say, Look, I just want to spend time with you, or we can spend time together. That's what has to be done. So pay attention to that when you're when you're out there.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Okay, that's a good one. Now let's get down to money. Let's talk about money.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

Oh, money. Well, money.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

So I think this is this is the other like huge misconception um about the restaurant business in general. Some of it, yes, is very lucrative, but when you're a chef, the amount of hours you work and the pay compared to other professions, I mean it's it's kind of thankless in a lot of ways. Like you're not making, you know, you're not out there making these huge six-faces. It's impossible. So that does not happen.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

You can't make a lot of money when you're a chef, but you can make a really good living. The difference is there's a lot of hours and there's a lot of stuff, but our bodies are programmed to do it. And a lot of people are just so used to being there that their bodies, it's it's muscle memory. They go there all day and it's just part of the comfort zone. If you took that away from some people, they would complain that there's not now they're complaining about there's not enough money because they think they could be doing more for more.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

Other topics on money. So I think setting expectations that you know you're kind of at a cap. Like it's not a profession that unless you're venturing out, starting your own product or building your brand, that it's kind of just like here. Like, you know what you're gonna make, you shouldn't expect, you're not Gordon Ramsay. Like, not everybody's gonna be a famous chef.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Well, no, it's not. And and and I think that is more about since we're talking about dating, I think that relates back to if you're gonna date a chef and you want to have a future with one, you have to understand that. That that there's a there's a thing there too. Um, so it kind of limits it. Does money I don't know how much money has to do with dating.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

I think it depends on the person, because some people, you know, I mean, if they're like, I want this.

SPEAKER_00 16:02

If they want a Gucci bag as a gift, they might be in trouble.

SPEAKER_01 16:05

Yeah, you're not gonna be on that.

SPEAKER_00 16:06

Yeah, you might be getting that TJ Maxx jank, which is fine. It's totally fine.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

No one knows the difference.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Well, no one cares.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

No one really cares.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Some people do.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Well, I mean, yeah, but you're probably not. I mean, if you're then going after a chef, it's probably just for the um trophy of it, not really for the relationship of it.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Yeah, you know, I I guess because yeah, there's there's not much chef life is a hard life. It is. I don't know much trophying how much trophy there is to that, unless you're a celebrity chef, a famous chef, uh or an awarded chef, or your restaurants are really well known. There's a different story there.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Then you have a different opportunity, but that's business anyway. That's not that doesn't have to do with you being a chef anymore. That has to do with being business.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

So I think every industry though has groupies. Like, I mean, you have it in sports, you have it in restaurants where they're either trying to bang the bartender or the chef or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

That happens within the industry, maybe within the yeah, within the industry for sure.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

So I don't know how many people are going to. I don't I'm not sure. I don't know that answer. But um, you know, here's another here's another tip if you want to move off of the money part, because I really don't have much to say about the money. I don't really the money's a tough one because it's it we we all work for different reasons, and most of it's to pay our bills and everything, but a lot of chefs are stuck in it just because that's where they're programmed to.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Well, how about this question? Not it's kind of has to do with money, but being supportive as a partner, because in the chef world, sometimes if you want to move up, you gotta move, or you gotta move restaurants, or you gotta move cities. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

That's a fact, yeah. So you gotta be able to do that. So even if you're a lot of good chefs have already ran through the gamut of the restaurants that they're in, unless they own one or they're a long-term chef at one, or the executive chef, but you you didn't get to that position without having to be around and learning. You you had to grow through the thing. So, yeah, if you're gonna date a chef and there's an opportunity there shows up in San Francisco, or it may show up in uh Colorado, it should show up in Rhode Island, it doesn't matter, right? You may want to move to that, and you're you may have to lose a relationship, or that relationship may have to move with you. And that's just the way it is. It's the only way you can progress in this world. It's life.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

If you want to move, I mean, same with I mean, well, news business is the same. You move from station to station, different states. I mean, you know, it's it's definitely hard. Oh, there's one other one that we were gonna talk about too was um just showing up. Yeah, like to visit, like surprise visits, because I can tell you the bar side of this. So you do the chef side first.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

Well, the the chef side is this if you just show up to visit, there's a good chance in time where you the the pre first of all, we may not be able to go out and talk to you at all. At all. So it it depends on when you show up. You have to really read the moment and understand your your person's uh schedule because if you're gonna show up in the six o'clock in the middle of a uh the starting of the rush and you expect the person to come and talk to you, then you're gonna get mad because of it.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

Oh my god, I missed you. I love you.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

I just want to give you a hug and kiss that we can't leave the line. I mean, we're 15 tickets deep right now. We we cannot go into weeds here. So there's certain times that you're just gonna get disappointed, right? And also, if the person does leave the line, you're just simply fucking up the line. Well, you're you know what I mean.

Heat Of The Kitchen, Heat At Home

SPEAKER_01 18:57

You're fucking up everybody else in the kitchen, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:59

Because the guy has a girl has to leave to go to this hub.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

Or is it the partner or spouse, whatever, that does that shit so that they have a reason to be pissed at you because they come in and you didn't pay attention to me and you didn't even see me.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

That could be it. It could be drama-driven. Trying to some people want to be toxic, I guess. But but here's the other thing you gotta understand is do not come to the fucking kitchen and do not come to the restaurant if you guys are fighting because you want to continue the fight, or you want to um, or you want to make up at that moment. It's not the time, right? The chef is already working, they're already messed up in their head, they've already been listening to the Metallica and their headphones, and everything they're plating looks like. Yeah, it looks like they're mad at the fucking world, but they're over there. Semi-glasses all smear all over the place. Yeah, banging on chicken. Banging chicken. Hounding chicken we don't even have on the menu, you know. So it it's it's things like that. So just stay out of it. Keep your personal life away and don't bring it into a chef's world at work.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

Well, that's showing up, but I think, and just because it's a restaurant doesn't mean it's casual and you can just show up. It's still someone's job. Yeah, like you wouldn't show up to an accountant's or a lawyer in the middle of a lawyer's presentation.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Kick your feet up on a desk and have a seat.

SPEAKER_01 20:02

Yeah, grab it a grab it a drink and be like, hey, why don't you talk to me right now? Why aren't you staying in the city? Exactly. No, that's true. And a lot of people think because it's a more fluid profession, you're having quote unquote fun at work.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

That's the biggest thing is and I have a rule. In my restaurants, I have a rule. My staff cannot go back after work or during the shift or anything after the shift and sit at our bar and hang out with the customers and hang out with them. You you need to leave. This is not that place. So if you meet a girl that you work with, or say you meet somebody at the bar, you're you're coming off, you meet a girl, she's at the bar. Here's a couple things that go wrong. Now you're gonna be at the bar hanging out. Now it makes it okay for that girl to come here and talk to you at work or guy.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

They feel they feel that it's okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Then something happens to you, you break up, we don't see that person again. So now that person, now we lost a customer. We lost a customer. So there's all kinds of things that go wrong with it. So if you're dating a chef or want to date a chef, let them go to work. They're not gonna go to your work. If if you're working at the shipyard doing a pipe fitting, no one's gonna come through the ship guard with the ID, get up on the ship, and then sit there and hang out with you while you're working. It's not allowed. Yeah, it's the restaurant, is it's not a free place.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

But treating it like a profession, not just, you know, not a job. It's a profession. Like, and don't underestimate it. Because people, that drives me crazy too, when people would say, I'm just a bartender, I'm just a cook, or I'm just a no. You are actually like a vital part of the machine.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Of a machine. You're right. You're you this is an industry, and you are in it. You know? People look at this food service industry sometimes like that. And when you're dating a chef, some people will be like, Well, he's he's just a chef. No, it's not true. This guy or girl is is a phenomenal artisan, and that's what they're doing. They're artisans. And they work and they and they work hard and they bust their ass.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

Here's the next thing. Let's move down a list.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

Something else you need to know. Okay. That's what we can get on the. So here's one thing that everyone doesn't understand when they go to date a chef. Okay. Or they're interested in the chef. What is it? They don't want to cook for us.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Oh, at home, maybe?

SPEAKER_00 22:01

Do you know how fucking much that sucks? Can we talk about this, people? Do you know how much it sucks? Stop saying you don't want to cook for us. We want love too. We want to be cooked for. We want rice aroni. We want pork chops and shake and bake. We want a cheeseburger. We want fucking chicken tenders. We want all that stuff, right? We want the meatloaf. We want the damn chopped suey. We want uh goulash, and we want chicken. And pot pie. We want all that crap.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

The basic home-cooked meals. Yes. Like you're not expecting a like a Michelin fucking meal. No, man.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

We work all day. We put this stuff out all day and night. I want to go get a seat.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

If I like a hot dog.

SPEAKER_00 22:35

Yeah, I want a hot dog. I want to eat off the grill. I want to everything doesn't have to be gourmet. It doesn't. I understand the um, I understand the um I understand. But you hear it a lot.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

People are like, oh, you're married to a chef. That must be amazing because they cook for you all the time. No, no. It's really not.

Savoring Rare Moments Of Calm

SPEAKER_00 22:54

That's the next subject. Let's get to that in a minute. Here we go. So check it out. We just opened the can. Yeah, I'm telling you. So, you know, there's times that we just want a grilled cheese and tomato soup. You know, we we don't want to go out every night, every meal. Don't sell yourself short. If you can cook good, there is a chef waiting to bring you in. They want you. And if you cook fuck around and cook for them a couple times, love is in the air. It's over, baby. It's done. Because that's all we want. So all the people that think out there that I don't want to cook for you, you're a chef. I'm intimidated. I understand where that theory comes from, but I'm telling you right now, you are wrong. We don't care. We want to eat just regular food too. We want to be cooked for. You know what I'm saying? And and we grew up the same way you did. Yeah. We took our profession. We ate the same stuff. You know what I mean? We had the same stuff.

SPEAKER_02 23:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:41

We had Chinese takeout, we had all that stuff coming up we look forward to.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

Um I think people we tell you in your perspective of it, like it does surprise people when you you have a simple palate for home food. Like you don't have the same palate when you're going to a restaurant as you do at home.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Yeah, no, I like it.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

Ours is really different.

SPEAKER_00 23:58

I like my palette. I like home cooked food. I like food. Don't get me wrong, I love great food. There's a place for it, but great food is also in the home.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

Which doesn't have to be crazy. It can just be, you know, yeah, just like you said, just a box of food. Cook someone a steak.

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Cook someone a steak, turn it into a steak sandwich later on in the night and see what the fuck will happen. Okay? Do that and see what happens.

SPEAKER_01 24:21

See what happens. All right. So I guess some of the like, we went through some of the fun stuff, but um talking about, yeah, oh, this was a funny one. Um, like, don't what not to buy a chef. So if you're dating a chef and you're trying to look for gifts for them, what are like we talked about knives, like things like don't don't try and impress like what should if you're let's do that, if you're dating, if you're dating a chef, what are the like best and worst gifts to give them?

SPEAKER_00 24:50

Anything kitchen related is a is a tough one unless you know specifically what they want.

SPEAKER_02 24:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Because we all have our own little niche. And if you buy a$20 knife or a$400 chef knife, it doesn't matter. Because we all have our own the the uh the ergonomics, uh the what is it? What's the word? Ergonomics? Ergonomics, right? Ergonomics and a hand of a knife. We all have our own things. The aerodynamics, whatever you call it, right? So vocabulary, we're here for it.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Yep, hey, so spelling is hard.

Money Myths And Realities

SPEAKER_00 25:19

So, you know, it's we have our ways of liking things. We have our own knives, we have our way we like to lie on the knives, we have our own tongs, we have our own tweezers, we have our own thermometers. We all have our little thing. It's with us every single day. And sometimes people will try and buy us something or get us something, and it's like, yeah, cool. I'm gonna really like this lemon pither. You know, you know, you can get me a microplane, but the one I use is probably a different uh grade on it. You're not gonna like it. It just it's just not us. We know what we want, we know what we like. The only time I would suggest buying a gift for a chef is if you know exactly what they want and they specifically like they've had it, you've had it in your cart on the on the store. Yeah, you gotta sneak in their Amazon cart or something and see what it is or looking at. See what they're actually looking at, and then you could actually or look in their knife roll and stuff like that. But typically, we like to get our own things. You know, sometimes shit will be gifted down, and that's a different story. Um, but buying a chef something kitchen stuff. Um I would buy right. I would I would avoid kitchen stuff myself because I know what I like. It's very hard to impress me because I've already got what I need, or I'll tell you what I like because I can't afford it, and then get them that. Ask them what can I get you for your kitchen? They'll probably say I'm all good.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Yeah, really? I'm good, I have everything I need. Yeah, so good best gifts to get. Would that be more like experience or relaxation related versus trying to like overdo gifts and plan stuff for you?

SPEAKER_00 26:39

Yes, dinner. Just like an actual just cook them dinner, take them to dinner, make them something, something nice, take them out to a show. A lot of chefs like shows. A lot of us don't get to do that. So you know, make a date night around a show or a concert or something like that. That that's pretty pretty big for a lot of us. Um zen, man. Just bring us zen. That's all we want. A lot of people want zen, not chaos, you know. Bring us peace. Do some laundry or something for them, you know. Do things that they can't do that they don't want to waste their time doing when they're home. They want to relax. So bring Zen. That's the best gift you can give a chef is fucking zen.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Peace and quiet. Peace and quiet.

SPEAKER_00 27:15

Now you asked me something a minute ago, and I said we'll get to that.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

Oh, yeah. Um, we gotta we gotta backtrack now. We said the money, and then we were talking about the um oh my gosh, what did we say?

SPEAKER_00 27:26

No, you said uh we were talking about a g uh what I don't even know. Let's move on.

SPEAKER_01 27:32

Oh my gosh, we did. I guess we're trying to see if there's anything else. So we had kind of red flag, green flags that we can talk about. Um getting, yeah, the schedule, jealousy, um, expecting you to quit or change your job. Have you ever had that happen?

SPEAKER_00 27:48

I I have not had someone expect me to quit, but they did expect me to pay more attention in times where I simply couldn't. And it's just a fact, you know. Um, I don't I have a lot more freedom now, but back when when any chef were on a schedule, and we just can't. So a lot of times someone's friend's party will come up on a Saturday. I really want you to go with me. I can't. Uh I'll meet you thereafter. You'll get there at 10 o'clock, everybody will already be drunk, you'll show up, you'll try and get wasted. Then the fight happens because the other person's been wasted. It's too much. It's yeah. So it's hard. So I've had people that leave me because they just can't do it, or they find their way in someone else's arms or something while you're gone so much. It's it just happens that way, you know. So dating a chef has a lot of things to it. They're amazing people, usually they're big-hearted, very passionate, very passionate. We we argue a lot because we're very passionate in what we do. That carries over to relationships in the home or or outside of work. So there's a lot to it. Dating a chef takes a lot. The list was long. I'm sure anyone can add to it.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

If you have anything that you think we missed, I would like to hear that because there's a lot of topics that even, you know, we could probably yeah, shift it in the industry in general. There's just a lot you need to understand. Before you go in and you think it's fun and it's cool, and it's always a party. It is not a fucking party every day.

SPEAKER_00 29:06

It's not a party.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

It's a lot of work, it's a lot of effort, it's a lot of schedule, it's a it's just a lot of agony.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

And it's a lot of agony. The older we get, the older I get, the older we stick, you know, standing up becomes painful, bending down becomes painful, burning your hands doesn't even hurt anymore. Your your hands are so arthritic that a burn doesn't even bother them. Wow. Because they just they they cramp up. Sometimes we'll wake up in the morning and our hands won't move. You know what I mean? It it there's a lot to it. We're always cutting, we're always using knives, we're always always doing pan work. There's never a time where our hands aren't moving on something, you know? And um, it's it's a very hands-on thing. Temperatures are different and very so a lot of stuff to it.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

All right, well, cheers.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Good luck to you. If you're gonna date a chef, good luck. Good luck. Don't say it in warn you.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

May the force be with you. All right.

Mobility, Moving, And Support

SPEAKER_00 29:51

All right, well, listen, ciao for now. Date a chef, give one a hug. And if you don't want to date one, blow one, I don't know, do something. Be nice. Just be nice.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

The list forms to the left. All right, cheers. Ciao, ciao for now.